Scared for LIFE

I watched this one drama with the family that reminds me of my mischievous days. In this drama, there's these two children aged 6 that ran away from home. The children were found later on. We often watched dramas on how teenage kids rebel by running away from home. Then their parents desperately find them and give them whatever they want. On the truth side, that is not what happen to me.

 

Don't be cheated by this innocent face

 

I was always a rebellious child since small. I bet no where on Earth any parents would want to have me as their child. My rebellious years started when I reached puberty. It's the hormones that made me a bad girl.

A 6 y/o me

 

I stole. I lied. I cheated. I lost Mum's trust. All in all, Dad remains to be a soft spot in me. No matter how bad can I be or how mad he is, he would always calmly, in a soft tone scolded me. And also the canning. He never shout.

My handsome Dad !!

Grumpy child since small

 

It was 2006. That day, Dad forced me to cut my fringe. You know how in teenage years that we think without fringe, like all those actress and models' hair are very cool. Well, at least that's what I think. Fringe are stupid at that time. Only nerds would have them.

I'm the one in the middle with the orange shirt.

You see how every of my girls have their fringe tied to the back or side

 

Reluctantly, I went to the barber with Mum to have my hair cut. I've always hate to go to the barber as long as I can remember. That time, my visit is only once a year. It was always few weeks before Chinese New Year. I remember how I cried to my every barber visit. I almost went to every barber that is in town. No one knows what I want. Barbers are nothing but devils who love to cut my hair very short and purposely make me look ugly.

That day I cried, thinking how am I going to face all my friends with the ugly fringe. My friends would laughed at me. My tuition teacher would teased me. I cried from the barber's till home and into the bathroom, washing my hair again and again hoping it would grow faster.

I refused to go tuition. That time, Dad came home from work for something and he knew everything. Calmly, Dad assured me on how the fringe makes me prettier and younger. As a stubborn girl should be, I refused to hear everything out. I refused to go tuition. Shouting here and there on how ugly my fringe is. Then Dad said, "If you don't want go tuition, get out of the house".

Say it! The influence of TV dramas, internets or anything. I quickly packed and ran away from home.

I can still recalled how Mum stopped by the roadside to ask me to go home at a junction to the big road. Stubbornly, I refused and keep on walking. Mum then drove away.

It was then when I realized that there's a lorry with 2 guys following me from behind. Keeping up with my slow, walking pace and stared at me like a lion staring at it's prey. Feeling afraid, I quickly called Mum and ran home.

I would like to tell others out there that I'm lucky to manage to reach home. I can't imagine if I still keeping on walking. I might not be here today. Perhaps, I'll be at the roadside, asking for money or entertaining my customers in budget hotels or whatsoever.

Home is the safest place on Earth. Never run away from home. But if you want to try your luck to see if your parents chased you or not or either wanting to be sell as prostitute, you can try. I've tried once and scared for life. If I were you, I would never ever try.

That also explain why I have few photos of my childhood and why I hate to take photos.

A child like me definitely test these two person patience

 

History has made me and shaped me into the person I am today

 

Mum & Dad,

Thanks for everything.

Sorry to be not what you expect me to be.

Sorry to bring disappointment in your life.

Sorry for every bad actions that I've done.

 

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped

- Tony Robbins

 

Thanks for reading this entry