Boy = Useless

I'm fucking pissed off right now. I was watching my.fm Fantastic 15 when the stupid brother of mine noisy want to watch other channel. Mum then quickly snatched the Astro remote away and purposely put on the table near him. I knew she was giving him the chance to take the remote. As I noticed, I quickly took the remote from the table. Mum then shouted asked to give her the remote. I said," You surely give him one. I want to watch this." Mum then said, "Yeah. Of course I give him. My remote what!" Fuck la. Everything go give him. He very 'tai sai' meh?? She then added, "House also next time give him." Go give la. As if I want the house!

Huhhh. Your that so-good son also don't want this house la. Go give him la. One day, he shall kick you out of the house. As if I care. He's not even afraid of you! He's more afraid to his sister, my younger sister, Niki lo. See? Go 'sayang' him more la. I'll wait for the day! Pamper him more la. He'll be the one that make you 'tiu lian' one day. That time don't cry la.

This is what happen in all Chinese family house. Every mother wants a son. No one want a daughter. They said daughter are useless. After marry follow husband already. So they put all their effort and money in their son. As if their son very good. Almost 60% of Chinese families with a single son, will obviously have a crap son in future. Don't trust me? Go ask around la.

Everything give son. See how your son repay you one day. Don't regret suak.

I've never been close to my Mum. Lets just say I'm closer with my Dad. I'm devastated when he left us 6 years back.  Me and Mum always fight. There's obviously something to fight. Often enough it will always about Kevin. In my opinion, she pamper Kevin too much. It's not that she have only one son. She still has Eric. But then she never treat them the same. In fight, it's always Kevin who won thou he's wrong at the first place.

My handsome Dad

 



Me & Dad.

Miss him so much right now

 

Never never have a son. They're fucking useless. Do nothing and just know how to shout! Like an ass!

Dad left us when I was Form 2, early April which is 7 April 2008 due to kidney failure. He's always the one that I went to when I'm sad. I'm so close with him that I can't go to bed if I don't wish him "Good night". Nothing have been the same since he left. Everything changes. Yeah, one may see me as a happy girl but no one really know what's inside.

Daddy and me when I was around 5, in Singapore during Christmas

 

I've always envy my friends that still have Dad with them. Why they have Daddy and why God take mine away? I still want to go through every stages of my life with Dad. I want him to be there during my SPM, making him proud. I want him to be there when I first learnt my car driving. I want him to be the first one that I'll fetch after I got my car license. I want him to be there when I graduate from my higher education, be proud of me wearing the mortar board on my head. I want him to be there when I get marry, handing my hand to my husband. I want him to be there, holding my first child in his hands. I want him to be there for everything.

This shall remain as nothing but a dream. He shall never come back. At the end of the day, I'm only left with the feeling regret. Why I didn't spent more time with him? Why I didn't wish more "I love you, Daddy" or even kiss him when I have the chance too? Why I seldom take photo with Dad? Why and why. Nothing can replace him. Nothing. Diamonds, gold or money can't have him back. I would trade everything to get my Dad back.

Dad and the 11 y/o me

 

So please appreciate your Dad when he's around. It's useless to cry in front of the laptop or feeling regret when he's gone.