Drafts of drafts

Messed up with the wallpaper behind last night and then discovered that it was stamp prints of cats. Shame on me but I didn't notice it until yesterday night. The cats prints really bothers me a lot and it creeps me out each time I view my blog. Finding a suitable wallpaper proved to be hard. I don't want something too girly, or pinkish but at the same time I still want to keep it feminine. Changed a couple last night before decided that the current one is the best. Just nice for the moment.

I decided to be a little productive today rather than siting down watching my drama. Currently watching, Cruel Romance starred by Huang Xiao Ming (China's heartthrob) and Joe Chen Qiao En. A storyline about the mafia who falls in love with a simple, country girl with dangers lurking around them at all time. I'm at episode 32 just past the moment when Zuo Zhen was being accused for killing his sifu and went through lots of beatings just to earn a living with Jin Xiu. That episode watch really hen xin tong.

Since I have so much of unpublished drafts, I shall comply them and publish them all today. They are all my unfinished work. Probably at that time I was too tired, too lazy or simply just the contents are too short to be publish. This particular one was written on 25 July 2014.

"And today 25 of July, I dreamt of Dad. He was packing for his holiday. He was smiling at me while packing his luagage. Going for Spain (I think) wih his best friend. He was complaining his trousers are tight. He went to change minutes before entering the cab to bring them to the airport. He even has the same luggage as his best friend. The hard cover luagage, purple in color. While I was helping loading the luagage intp the car, it somehow scratches with the car door and there's a hole. With a sad face, I was finding for him in the house to inform him. Perhaps finding another luagage for him. I spotted another luagage. The one I carry always. Then I woke up."

I remember this one. I woke up feeling that the dream was so real, that the clumsy me had somehow disappoint my dad. He was excited for his holiday trip before I accidentally scratch his luggage. I don't know how others cope when their loved ones depart but I do occasionally dreamt of Dad. I can't say I don't believe the afterlife but if there is no afterlife, then where do Daddy goes? Chinese do burnt hell money, houses, cars etc for the departed ones. Yes, I do questioned how does they receive them? Does a house suddenly drop from their sky down on the ground? You may not understand but I assume wherever they are, they do also have grounds and skies like us.

This one was probably written when I searched for dogs from the advertisements. Can't recall anything but from the content, I might just browsed through too much advertisements on Dogo Argentino puppies for sale. It was drafted on 21/08/2014.

"Dogs like Dogo Arginto and Fila Brasileiro. What is the purpose of people keeping these huntress dog in the neighborhood surrounded by kids. I don't see it serve as a purpose of hunting. Surely if you need a guard dog, one can always opt for  tamer breeds like German Shephard or Rotwiller. If you stay in a sub urban area like near the forest or somewhere where wild bears are often spotted, I might see the purpose of the breed. But don't you think a Dogo in a over populated area is not suit. I would freak out if there's a dogo in my neighbourhood. Who knows when the dog would escape and decided to haul on me.

I understand your point of having a guard dog around as crime rates are increasing but German can do the job too. Unless you're in a dog fight competition. Never in my right mind, I would want a dogo. Please. It's far too scary. And with so much dogo puppies adv, I'm afraid for the public. People always being reckless of not doing their best research on the breed. if a Dogo falls in the worng hand, we will at the end being resort to have it euthanize which a sad thing because it's a beautiful breed but it is us human that don't understand them."

 

This year only, I've seen at least 3 Great Danes being rescued by rescue groups and two didn't made it. It is sad to see such a thing happens to such great dogs especially when they were malnourished when rescued. No doubt that Great Danes eat a lot. But the very least you can do is to feed them with rice or your waste food of the day. I think I've wrote on this but again, a Great Dane can give birth up to 10 puppies at a time. So unless you've planned properly, you wouldn't want to mate them. And if you really want puppies, there are lots for sale at a very affordable price (by affordable, I meant compare to German, Doberman etc) out there so there's no need for breeding. Just to save a thousands, you'll spend 5k for the maintenance of the newborn puppies. Think for yourself.

"Last two years, I remember I was so sad sitting for my driving license."

 

This was on 1st September last year. I think I was back home for the holidays and Mousy was driving me around. Recalling back to the days when I was practicing my driving with Mum and Uncle. I was sad because I'm one of hundreds out there that will never have the chance to drive their father around. I'm sad coz my friends practiced their driving with their dads and have dads around to give some useful tips about cars. How I wish I was given the chance.

 

For each year after Dad left us, this is my thoughts on my birthday.

 

" It's the time of the year again where I questioned myself what is the significant meaning of the day aside that I'm out of the womb?! This year, a friend that I've always assumed as only 'friend' went great length to get me a birthday cake. I'm touched and surprised but more than that, I feel guilty. She went alone all the way to Tasik Bandar Selantan just to get the birthday cake.

Well, after Dad left, I don't really celebrate birthday anymore. Can't bring myself too. The last time I had such a big birthday cake was on my 13th birthday. We had Tiramisu cake. It was that period of time when Dad started to fall ill. After Dad left, birthday was not a celebration anymore."

 

Did I or did not I posted photos of my 20th birthday cake with Sha? Can't remember. I'm deeply touched with her efforts to get a cake for me on my birthday and also a very lengthy birthday card.

 

This one was drafted on 24th January 2015, after the interview for my degree. That sentence "The aim for now is to get this done without a shed of tears" I can't recall anything about it. But it probably is something emotional. Here, in my blog I shed lots of tears. So it's something normal.

 

"Being here today and clicking on the "New Post" button means no good news. The aim for now is to get this done without a shed of tears. I shed tears a lot. First and foremost, shall start my very first entry of the year (the Miracle entry is not counted) with my favorite quote of the week. "Wishes are for fools. What I need is a miracle". A miracle to make me slim and beauty in a day! Haha! You wish!!

Last Sunday I went down to KL for my interview to enroll into UCSI for Degree in Pharmacy. Yeah, after a year (2 years to be specific) I finally manage to put myself in degree life. Was so nervous for the interview and it doesn't get better when I heard there's a Chemistry test during the interview. On top of that, I'm totally clueless about the test. Thanks to my counselor, Mr Samuel for telling me absolutely nothing. LOL! At first when I heard of Mr Samuel that name, I imagined him to be a very old man, perhaps in his late forties with a bald head and bulging belly. *grins And he turns out to be well, maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. Quite nice looking la but he came in late!

Went in for the interview with another friend Jie Hwi, also from Foundation in Science (same intake). Took the Chem test. We were given two different separate test. Mine was quite easy where the questions are mostly on organic chemistry, those functional groups name. They gave the structural and you determine their functional groups like ketones, aldehydes, esters and a few more that I've clearly already forgotten. The second question was on determine whether the following medicine (aspirin and who knows what) is acid, base or alkali. Oh, thank god I did out my Form 5 Chemistry tuition notes the day before. Read a whole lot of info on medicine at the last chapter. FYI, aspirin is acidic and therefore cannot be taken before food as it can cause ulceration. The next question is on True/False questions where I'm given two different structural formula. I think it's quite easy for me. Just a lil tricky. The last question is on acid/base chapter where you're given a pair of cations and are required to determine which one is the strongest acid.

Here's the dreaded part. The actual interview.  I actually didn't prepare much for the interview. Perhaps some basic question like 'Tell me about yourself", 'Why do you want to be a Pharmacist' and also the Strength and Weakness questions. I did lots of readings the night before and actually prepared with my answer. Memorized it to be specific. We were also asked on what does a pharmacist do, what is inside the cylinder cooking gas tank (something which is obviously not related) , what am I going to do for the 8 months before enrollment, what books am I currently reading and also some organic chemistry questions."

 

Obviously I passed the interview and now I'm waiting for August to enroll. This is my answer to the Tell me about yourself question. "Good morning. I'm Karen Chiok from Terengganu. I'm 21 this year. I'm living with my mum and 4 younger siblings. I enjoyed reading during my free time. My goal is to complete my Degree in Pharmacy and find a job to help support my family." I don't really want to tell specific details about myself like my mum's occupation, where's my dad or how old are my younger siblings. In my opinion, since the question is about me, I should just focused on myself.

 

I think I shall end here or I shall never post this again. A little updates on my life. Just came back from our holiday trip to Australia. Will find a time to blog about it. I'm still down with cough and runny nose. I'm starting to get busy planning for our Krabi trip for the coming holidays. Jia you, Karen!

 

Thanks for the time!

See you guys soon.

I hope





Should I?

Think Karen, think! I may have tens of drafts waiting for me to finish them but they might still need to be there for some time still. Deep inside, I don't think this post should be up for now but I need to pen this up. Just to reconsider and taking everything into consideration before making one big decision in my life.

Last Monday, I brought Xiao Ai to a groomer (half-groomer I would say as she's still learning) to have his very first professional grooming. Everyone here would know by now that we did our grooming ourselves as first, we don't have lots of grooming center here in KayTee and secondly, I don't trust the one and only groomer that I've known here because of her bad reputation. Why the hell would I sent my Xiao Ai to a person who receives bad feedbacks from the customers? She is known to injure dogs and have dogs being traumatized after their grooming session with her. Would I risk that all just for the sake of a few hours of my time? The answer is NO! I would rather groom Xiao Ai by myself. It makes me feel much relief even if I did injure him sometimes. The occurrence of that is 1%.

I stayed there through the whole entire grooming session. Call me a waste of time or whatever, I don't care. I just can't put my heart to calm down by leaving him there all by himself. As this is the first for me, it is also the first for him. Well, good part is that he seemed to enjoy himself a lot except probably the part where he needed to stand the whole two days. Yeap, two days of grooming. Is not that Xiao Ai is that dirty or messy. Since she's still learning, she took more time and paid for attention which is a good thing, I think. She did injure Xiao Ai a little on the foot during the nail cutting but the bleeding stopped after an hour.

The only bad thing about this groomer is that her time management. I'm not satisfied with that. We made an appointment on Mon which is the 22nd on 10 am and when we reached she actually asked us to wait another hour while she went out to get her breakfast. Same goes to the next day when we waited another 30 minutes for her to get her whatever things done. I hate the fact that the 'busybody' people nearby would stopped and stared at us. Not that I'm ashamed or anything but the fact that Xiao Ai did somehow noticed my frustrations and started barking at the walking strangers. I don't know how true is the fact that dogs can sense humans emotions, but I did notice sometimes when we walked past strangers and I got frustrated by them, Xiao Ai would eventually started to bark at them.

And also, for some unknown reasons, Xiao Ai hate motorcycles. He can't stand the sound coming from the vehicle and started to bark and run after them. We chatted a lot during the grooming session. From what I see, she is really passionate about dogs and particularly interested in show dogs. Those show dogs enthusiasts be warned coz I'm not in your circle. I don't give a damn about your shows nor the cert that comes with the dogs. I do aware that cert can proves many things like the dogs' line and whatsoever. Do I look like I care? No, I don't. My dogs need not the cert to prove them what they is. Why wouldn't I recognize the difference between a Great Dane and a Fila Brasileiro?

Just to clarify, I did every research on the dogs I decide to take in. And those research took me countless days and night and lots of reading just to make sure we have the right dogs. I'm not someone who simply went into a pet shop, saw a cute puppy and decided to buy it. I took everything into consideration and till now there is not a single moment that I've regretted having my two Great Danes and Xiao Ai in my life. Well, maybe except the time when Tiger was fighting for dominance with Xiao Ai. That time, I was like, "Shit! Why the hell do I decide to take Great Danes." Other than that, they are my pride and joy.

I do not need a cert to confirm whatever they are, or what line are they from. What I want is a purebred dogs. I'm not against mongrel but from my past experience with mongrel, I would not want a repetition of that to happen again. Pao Pei, our very first mongrel, was said to be a Poodle. That time, being young and foolish, we I took him in. The first few months was sweet. Him being a cute puppy and all. We all do fall in the charms of cute puppies. Things started to go downhill when I'm busy with my studies and him being neglected. It was a nightmare and a lesson for me to learn.

This particularly topic we're in is on Standard Poodle. There are not much Standard Poodle in Malaysia and to groom one, it was the groomer's pride. My pride is to have the one and only Standard Poodle in KayTee. We talked a lot on the breeds we have here in Malaysia and also I learnt a few useful tricks from her. The reason why I decide to sent Xiao Ai for grooming is due to the reason that his ear was being infected. It was so smelly and I'm so disappointed with myself for not realizing it earlier.

I kissed and played with Xiao Ai day and night and yet I don't see the signs. So angry with myself when I discovered his right ears were full with stink, yellowish liquid. Well, that happen before the holidays. So I decided to put his ear care on the hands of someone reliable. To date, his ears are much taken care of with daily inspections and care.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon an advertisement on Standard Poodle puppies for sale here in Malaysia. If you know, it is very rare to be stumble upon one. So I got into contact with the owner. She was selling for RM 1.8k. It was twice the amount we bought Xiao Ai. And that's not just it. I also realized that she is a breeder. She breeds lots of dogs. She has Great Danes puppies, Toy Poodle puppies etc. She gave me pictures of the sire and dam of the puppies when I asked for it but I'm still not sure about this.

 

I meant should I take in another Standard Poodle? Xiao Ai is great, loving and caring. He's perfect but another Standard Poodle means more grooming time and the fact that it's a puppy I need to train it. Yes, I may have another 5 months with the new puppy but I've decided to learn a few short courses in KL which will probably start next month. I do enjoyed training Xiao Ai because he's a fast learner. Is that the breed or the dog itself? But being the second cleverest dog breed, the new puppy that I'm still considering to take in will not be that bad.

We've been considering for a long time to mate Xiao Ai. We did actually fall in love with Standard Poodle and would love to have more of Xiao Ai. I've been thinking. If I am to find a female, I should probably not find the same breeder that I've got Xiao Ai from. Well the obvious reason would be that gene pool is too close and would probably result in mutations which we would not want to happen. If I do really want to find a mate for him, this particularly breeder is a better option. I just hate the fact that she's a breeder that breeds lots of dogs in her backyard. Can't see much of the conditions of dogs under her care but being a breeder that breeds a lot, her motive eventually is money.

I did a really big gamble with Xiao Ai. We left it all on the hands of the breeder to choose and decide for us. Thankfully, he's healthy till now and hope it remains forever. Please don't jinx it. I'm afraid to put everything to bet again. My inner thoughts are telling me to pass this one but I don't think another opportunity would come again. Lets just say, we take the puppy in and in another 5 years, we mated them. When the time comes, 5 puppies are born. Do I want to keep all this 5? Or do I want to sell them? To whom should I sell them too? These are all the questions that are lingering in my mind right now.

I shall rethink and rethink again. If I can stumbled upon 2 advertisement on Standard Poodle in the span of three years time, I bet with everything I have that there is more Standard Poodle out there than we know of. I think I'll pass this one for now. Hopefully, one day we will have a mate for Xiao Ai

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