18

So I'm half way through November now. Did November just passed in a blink of an eye? LOL! I don't actually realized that it's 17 already till I saw the date on my phone. I was like, "WHUT?" Like seriously? I turning 19 in less than 48 hours?! Unbelievable! Turning old already so can't fool around anymore like kids. Hell! Mum always said than I'm almost 20 already. Mum, please la. I'm only 19 lo. I wish I'll stay 17 forever thou I must sit for SPM every year. That's more bearable than going to college and surviving outside alone. Being 19 in few days time so this shall be my last entry in 18.

 

Was born on 19 November 1994 and was named Karen. So why Karen? Apparently, my Dad thought it would be a boy so he chosen the name Kevin but then it was a girl. He wanted the name starting with the letter K. So hence, it was Karen. Being the first child, I got what I want. I'm loved by families and nearest friend. Perhaps there's where the stubbornness came from.

 

Mum, Me & Dad

 

Living in this world for almost 19 years had taught me that appreciate what you have at the moment and love those who stay beside you in your toughest times in life. It is at this moment that I miss Dad the most. Yeap, I'm a daddy's girl. I'm way closer with Dad than with Mum. The fact is that I can't go to sleep without wishing Dad a good night. Dad will forever be the best thing in my life.

 

And hearing how Ck Pa brought his daughter to Giant and shopped for baking ingredients make me jealous. Hate that feeling but can't stop it. I will never had that chance with Dad. I'll never have Dad around to eat my cake, teach me how to drive, seeing me graduate, sending me off to my first day of work, complaining to him all my relationship problems, seeing me marry and many more. But one thing for sure, I know Dad is always around. Often, I dreamt of him. He brought all of us on holiday to Universal Studio Singapore, toured his underworld house and many more. Some may say that dreams are only illusions and imagination but for me, it's like a place for us to meet with the deceased ones. It cures my aches.

I'm going 19 already. So I guess it's time to start planning my future. Can't really live with Mum my whole life,right? Hmm. I think I'll be going for Diploma in Pharmacy. Has been looking for some Uni that offer Diploma. I choose to go for Diploma because Mum just wanna a cert and I'll give her the damn cert. Secondly it's because I don't wanna study anymore. I wanna go out and work. As you can see, these days fresh graduate can't even find a job. I rather don't have that cert and start finding a job. By the time my friends start finding jobs after graduating, I would already have a stable job. Coming from a poor family background, Dad has always wanna to go for further studies. Poverty stop him from doing that. Dad can barely finish his studies when he make a choice to start working and earn some money home for the family. I want to be the one that will accomplishing Dad's dreams for him. Is either Diploma or repeat my 3rd semester of foundation for 4 months. If I obtain at least a 3 pointer, then I'll straight to Degree in Pharmacy then. No more time to waste. Diploma will take me 3 years while Degree will be 5 years. I'll be around 25 by the time I graduate.
 

I guess this year I'll be sitting down on the dinner table, just having the simplest dinner with my family for they are the most important persons in my life now. No extravagant meals, no presents. Just me, Mum, Mousy, Tigress, Snakey, Goaty & Popo. And Xiao Ai too. =D

 

XOXO~

 

Once a daddy's girl, always a daddy's girl

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