COPE-ING

Have a solid one hour before my morning class. This week has been so hectic that I can't wait to end it. Wait! Scratch that. I don't wanna end it!!! Next week is HELL! I have all mid-term and test coming up. Sad to say, that include Physic too. There's really something going on between me and Physic that I can't understand the subject. Hmm. Looking back at it, I was pwetty fine with the subjects in Form 4. Well I don't know what goes wrong during Form 5. Is it the teacher coz we kinda get a male teacher for that. A young male teacher, to be specific. So there's goes all the awkward moments. No offense but then I tend to be shy a little around teachers that I'm not familiar with. Yeah. And it definitely affects my understanding coz I put a distance there. After a month, I think, we got a female teacher as replacement but then things still the same. Guess the problems is not on the teacher but the subject itself. GAhhh!! I hate PHYSIC!!! And also to make things worst, my lecture is a young male teacher. There's goes the problem. LOL! Forget the remarks on the teacher. Whenever I'm in Physic class, my attention seems to be drifting away. Physic class is the most boring class where I tend to yawn more and day-dreaming more. I just don't know why!! Is there a medicine for this kind of sickness? I don't think I'll be ever using Archimedes principle or the rotational acceleration in my life. Enlighten me please someone, why do we need to study Physic? And so I got my Physic's marks for the test 1 this week. *roll eyes Hahaha. Well, I expect it to be half only, which is 25 of 50. Guess what I got?! I got 29/50. It was okay la *the wave-like hand gesture Haih. Partly, it's because I don't revise on the projectile motion part, hoping it won't be asked during the test and partly is due to carelessness. having another test this coming 17 March. Am so not gonna take things for granted anymore.

Me? Life here? I'm almost done with the first semester here already. Talking about how fast time flies. I guess I still missed my KBU life thou I'm deeply aware that we're not going back there. I missed the small class where there are only 8 of us. I missed where we treated each one of us like a family members. I missed going shopping at One Utama with Annie, Kitty and Wee Kiat. I missed laughing hysterically with Sofea and Nurul at the most random jokes. I missed everything there. From the uncle that sells my favourite mee soup to the akak that sweep the hostel's corridor every morning, who would crack a smile at me when I smiled at her. I missed eating KFC during weekends. I missed Mr Richard, the hostel's warden who loves to bebel each time I saw him. Damn him and his philosophy about life. I missed my peaceful life with sweet and nice people in it where I don't need to constantly put my guards up.

Here, I constantly need to watch my step, fearing that I would one day stepped on the broken glass of the beer bottles everyday while I'm walking to school. Here, I'm constantly feared that one day Sha would leave me or abandon me for someone new. Feeling so insecure. Here, I constantly feared that one day people would know my real age and laugh at me for being so stupid and have to repeat another year of foundation. Here, I need to constantly watch my back as if something is gonna happen if I put my guards down. I'M TIRED!!

Life here is so stressful. Going to class as early as 8 in the morning only to come back at 6 in the afternoon. It's not everyday but then it's still tiring. I'm mentally and physically tired. At nights, I only managed to get an hour of sleep, 2 if I'm lucky. I'll blame it on the as hard as a rock bed. Seriously! I'm having problems! The weird thing is that in the afternoon, I can get 3-4 hours of nap but at night I het none. I guess I'm too tired to bother in the afternoon.

It is really hectic. Test,mid-term, assignments etc. Thou the lab reports here are done in groups, weird enough I find it more stressful than doing it myself. Have to constantly checked others, fearing they might screw up the lab reports and there goes my marks. I desperately wanna pass my foundation this year. I'll be damn if I don't get at least a pointer 3 at the end of the year.

Studying in KBU for year definitely is not a waste. At least I know how to write a lab report correctly or presenting my presentation confidently. Since there are only the 8 of us there, the lecture really paid attention on every one of us, making sure we did everything brilliantly. You don't know how to write a report? Ms Jaclyn is more than gladly to teach you how to write her Chemistry's lap reports with her sarcasm. Ms Wan expects the best out of your presentation where she makes you practicing presenting your slide for hours in front of your laptop prior to the presentation day. That all makes e what I am today. Perhaps someone might thing I excel in the reports that I'm assigned with or the presentation I'm presenting. The fact is that I take no credits for all of it. I gotta thanked my previous lecture for it.

LOL! It's already 8.11. Gotta go ready for my 9 am class. I hope things would get better as time passed. The process of coping to something new is not a process that I'm fond with but then there's always new things in life that I have to live with it. I can't be forever in my comfort shell. Nothing beats the rewards at the end of this all. I'm so looking forward to my short holidays at the end of teh month! Going back home for 4 days to be with Mum. At least there's something to look forward in this stressful month.

XOXO~